Disclaimer: When you first start reading this it is going to sound like the biggest pity party in the WORLD as you know it. Please bear with me, it's not, I promise. All I know is how to learn from experience (good or bad) and grow thru the moments of difficulty. I tell every story in hopes that one person who has felt or feels the same way I have can find triumph over their own situation.
In 2007 I had my first knee reconstruction from tearing my ACL/Meniscus, it was hard but the next 3 (yes 3) were harder. Mentally and physically I felt damaged. I was told by both Drs and physical therapists that I would be lucky to walk well let alone carry on with any normal physical activity beyond that.
Fast forward a few years to me crossing the finish life of my first half marathon. Emotions were high to say the least, I cried the last full mile and to make it even more emotional Cody pushed Skye in the stroller down the side walk beside me the last half mile to the finish line cheering me on. I had accomplished something that some told me was impossible, but along with the other emotions I felt sadness and disappointment. Strange because I had just reached my goal right?
I had seem tv shows and movies of people running marathons and finishing these huge races and there were all their friends and family holding posters and yelling for them, embracing them at the finish line telling them how proud they were.
Yet there I was just me, Cody and Skye, might I add Cody has been there for me no matter what! Whatever I decide to do no matter how big or small he is there, telling me I can accomplish anything and always telling me I am stronger than what I think, yet I felt like no one cared...
The race high finished and we got back to the car, no texts/calls asking how it went or saying good luck... (Eventually a few texts rolled in but it was to late, My emotions already had taken over) Skye however was elated to see me because she was ready for a marathon nursing session.
The excitement and joy left me and I started feeling as if no one cared what I had done.... Can you see the issue here??? I let the lack of gratification from others steal my joy! It even sounds crazy now as I'm typing it, and I even feel embarrassed about it in a way, but it was true! I was so consumed with the approval and recognition of others that I couldn't even enjoy my "moment".
Whatever you do work heartily for the Lord and not for man. Col 3:23
Hmmm.... work hard, not for man! We should be so proud of ourselves that we need no recognition from others.
I watched Skye as a baby and anytime she would do good she would clap, smile and say yay for herself. No matter how big or small the task she completed she was overjoyed at what she had done. She achieved her desire and praised herself for it.
Why as adults do we loose that trait? why do we seek our recognition and approval from others? sometimes we even find our value in the opinions of others! That sounds so crazy but is unbelievably true! I was there! I didn't see value in myself and I felt like I needed the recognition from others to feel truly accomplished. That is bull!
God says we are precious in His eyes! We are amazing creations from an awesome and living and God. My goodness be proud of yourself and everything you have done! Lost weight? own it!, Ran a 5k, 10k ect..? You are amazing! Got promoted at work? You rock! Survived parenting a toddler? You are seriously a hero! No matter how small or grand the task see worth in yourself, be proud and grateful for every step it took to get you to the place that you are now. Let no man steal your joy, people only have the control you give them over your life! Lift your head, smile and say I am proud of myself and need no gratification from others, In this moment I am rocking it and for that I will be proud of what I have accomplished.
In 2007 I had my first knee reconstruction from tearing my ACL/Meniscus, it was hard but the next 3 (yes 3) were harder. Mentally and physically I felt damaged. I was told by both Drs and physical therapists that I would be lucky to walk well let alone carry on with any normal physical activity beyond that.
Fast forward a few years to me crossing the finish life of my first half marathon. Emotions were high to say the least, I cried the last full mile and to make it even more emotional Cody pushed Skye in the stroller down the side walk beside me the last half mile to the finish line cheering me on. I had accomplished something that some told me was impossible, but along with the other emotions I felt sadness and disappointment. Strange because I had just reached my goal right?
I had seem tv shows and movies of people running marathons and finishing these huge races and there were all their friends and family holding posters and yelling for them, embracing them at the finish line telling them how proud they were.
Yet there I was just me, Cody and Skye, might I add Cody has been there for me no matter what! Whatever I decide to do no matter how big or small he is there, telling me I can accomplish anything and always telling me I am stronger than what I think, yet I felt like no one cared...
The race high finished and we got back to the car, no texts/calls asking how it went or saying good luck... (Eventually a few texts rolled in but it was to late, My emotions already had taken over) Skye however was elated to see me because she was ready for a marathon nursing session.
The excitement and joy left me and I started feeling as if no one cared what I had done.... Can you see the issue here??? I let the lack of gratification from others steal my joy! It even sounds crazy now as I'm typing it, and I even feel embarrassed about it in a way, but it was true! I was so consumed with the approval and recognition of others that I couldn't even enjoy my "moment".
Whatever you do work heartily for the Lord and not for man. Col 3:23
Hmmm.... work hard, not for man! We should be so proud of ourselves that we need no recognition from others.
I watched Skye as a baby and anytime she would do good she would clap, smile and say yay for herself. No matter how big or small the task she completed she was overjoyed at what she had done. She achieved her desire and praised herself for it.
Why as adults do we loose that trait? why do we seek our recognition and approval from others? sometimes we even find our value in the opinions of others! That sounds so crazy but is unbelievably true! I was there! I didn't see value in myself and I felt like I needed the recognition from others to feel truly accomplished. That is bull!
God says we are precious in His eyes! We are amazing creations from an awesome and living and God. My goodness be proud of yourself and everything you have done! Lost weight? own it!, Ran a 5k, 10k ect..? You are amazing! Got promoted at work? You rock! Survived parenting a toddler? You are seriously a hero! No matter how small or grand the task see worth in yourself, be proud and grateful for every step it took to get you to the place that you are now. Let no man steal your joy, people only have the control you give them over your life! Lift your head, smile and say I am proud of myself and need no gratification from others, In this moment I am rocking it and for that I will be proud of what I have accomplished.
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