I am going to be open, honest and real for just a moment. The past few days, weeks and even really the last month have been unbelievably hard for me at times. Me and Cody both feel as if are in a transitional phase, that something new is coming and we can even see the light at the end of the tunnel. however these birthing pains have been something that has brought me to my knees more than once.
My mental and emotional state has been shaken and I have allowed things to move into that snowball effect. Where one things come against me and I already start looking for "What's next" what else could possible go wrong and the kicker is, If I look for what's next I WILL find it.
I have let my joy slip away and I have let the beauty of everyday life fade to grey. The only way that I have been able to express my emotions at this time has been to say I feel like I am living in a grey area of life. I am neither here nor there just kind of floating in the struggle. Does that even make sense? This may resonate with no one but it has been my truth as of recent. We share so much of our lives on social media but often we leave out the REAL life moments. The struggles and the hard times, we don't want others to see our grey areas.
Some may call it a "funk" We've all been there, where everything seems just a little bit harder than it should be. We have moments where we feel like we are emerging from the slump then SMACK the world takes another low blow.
This morning as I woke sadly unexcited for the day I remembered something from fearless fest a few weekends ago. I pulled an affirmation card before one of our classes that stated "The only thing that I can control are my emotions and my reaction".
It was such a sweet reminder that I may be in this place but only I choose to remain here. I can lift myself from this state of frustration and hopelessness and choose to turn the other way. I have been thru so much worse in my life and God never failed me then, Why would He choose now to turn away?
I have the power to move, I have the power to adopt a new mindset, I can do that again and again until it is an involuntary action. when things come against me it will simply be second nature to react from a place of stability and strength. operation from a place where my emotions do not control me but I am the master of the sails.
We can't change everything but we can control how we react to everything. If I look for the bad I know that is what I will find. If I look towards God, His goodness and search for the beauty in every moment then I know that is what will be found.
I have always had peace with my injuries' but as of recent I have adopted a new mindset there. I have been thankful for them, thankful for the suffering because without it I know that I would be nothing that I am today. I would not fully understand the power and control that I have over each and every situation in my life.
But let me say this just because we know something doesn't mean we always apply it. That is why we have to be gentle with ourselves understanding that we are human and show ourselves the grace that we would show others. Last night after a moment of crying and self critical talk, Cody (my amazing husband) said " I don't want you to say anything to yourself that I wouldn't say to you, or that you wouldn't want said to Skye"
Oh that was one of those moments when I heard something that I absolutely did NOT want to hear but there was so much truth in it!! Why do we allow ourselves to abuse ourselves. If that was another person speaking to me like that, saying those things about my character I would quickly revert back to before Jesus Jess and show them how that would not be tolerated.... Yet we tolerate it from ourselves, we abuse ourselves and we create the darkness that we then set in.
Think about that for a moment. We don't bring those things against ourselves but we do however often make them a place to rest. We feed into them allowing them to grow and take up space there then we can't understand why we are overwhelmed.
I speak against it here and now! I am no longer living in fear, worry, frustration, confusion, anger, being controlled by my reactions and emotions. I am no longer living in a "why me" mentality.
I am a warrior fit for battle, I have every tool necessary in my tool belt to fight these things off.
The only reason that I have become overwhelmed is because I have allowed myself to rest in that darkness, I have made a home for those thoughts and those emotions. No longer are they welcome here, We must clean house. What has been planted in Faith will not be uprooted in FEAR. I will no longer choose to operate in fear but move forward victoriously.
Do you choose to walk in that victory with me. Are you taking back the helm, becoming master of your ship again?
Take back the life that what given to you, You have power over everything that is formed against you. WALK IN YOUR POWER!
My mental and emotional state has been shaken and I have allowed things to move into that snowball effect. Where one things come against me and I already start looking for "What's next" what else could possible go wrong and the kicker is, If I look for what's next I WILL find it.
I have let my joy slip away and I have let the beauty of everyday life fade to grey. The only way that I have been able to express my emotions at this time has been to say I feel like I am living in a grey area of life. I am neither here nor there just kind of floating in the struggle. Does that even make sense? This may resonate with no one but it has been my truth as of recent. We share so much of our lives on social media but often we leave out the REAL life moments. The struggles and the hard times, we don't want others to see our grey areas.
Some may call it a "funk" We've all been there, where everything seems just a little bit harder than it should be. We have moments where we feel like we are emerging from the slump then SMACK the world takes another low blow.
This morning as I woke sadly unexcited for the day I remembered something from fearless fest a few weekends ago. I pulled an affirmation card before one of our classes that stated "The only thing that I can control are my emotions and my reaction".
It was such a sweet reminder that I may be in this place but only I choose to remain here. I can lift myself from this state of frustration and hopelessness and choose to turn the other way. I have been thru so much worse in my life and God never failed me then, Why would He choose now to turn away?
I have the power to move, I have the power to adopt a new mindset, I can do that again and again until it is an involuntary action. when things come against me it will simply be second nature to react from a place of stability and strength. operation from a place where my emotions do not control me but I am the master of the sails.
We can't change everything but we can control how we react to everything. If I look for the bad I know that is what I will find. If I look towards God, His goodness and search for the beauty in every moment then I know that is what will be found.
I have always had peace with my injuries' but as of recent I have adopted a new mindset there. I have been thankful for them, thankful for the suffering because without it I know that I would be nothing that I am today. I would not fully understand the power and control that I have over each and every situation in my life.
But let me say this just because we know something doesn't mean we always apply it. That is why we have to be gentle with ourselves understanding that we are human and show ourselves the grace that we would show others. Last night after a moment of crying and self critical talk, Cody (my amazing husband) said " I don't want you to say anything to yourself that I wouldn't say to you, or that you wouldn't want said to Skye"
Oh that was one of those moments when I heard something that I absolutely did NOT want to hear but there was so much truth in it!! Why do we allow ourselves to abuse ourselves. If that was another person speaking to me like that, saying those things about my character I would quickly revert back to before Jesus Jess and show them how that would not be tolerated.... Yet we tolerate it from ourselves, we abuse ourselves and we create the darkness that we then set in.
Think about that for a moment. We don't bring those things against ourselves but we do however often make them a place to rest. We feed into them allowing them to grow and take up space there then we can't understand why we are overwhelmed.
I speak against it here and now! I am no longer living in fear, worry, frustration, confusion, anger, being controlled by my reactions and emotions. I am no longer living in a "why me" mentality.
I am a warrior fit for battle, I have every tool necessary in my tool belt to fight these things off.
The only reason that I have become overwhelmed is because I have allowed myself to rest in that darkness, I have made a home for those thoughts and those emotions. No longer are they welcome here, We must clean house. What has been planted in Faith will not be uprooted in FEAR. I will no longer choose to operate in fear but move forward victoriously.
Do you choose to walk in that victory with me. Are you taking back the helm, becoming master of your ship again?
Take back the life that what given to you, You have power over everything that is formed against you. WALK IN YOUR POWER!
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